I'm finally back to blogging....now that my sweet hubby got me a new laptop, I don't have to wait for his to be available to write. I'm so excited to post more regularly as the weeks come!
Something about this time of year makes me nostalgic and reflective. With college graduates moving away from our sphere of influence and high school graduates inching closer, I tend to look back at my own high school and college days and reflect and who I was then, who I am now, and the roads taken to get here.
Some of you reading may have known me in high school, but most of you did not. Let me start out by saying that if you went to high school with me and you are surprised by some of the perceptions of myself from high school, please know this is not an attempt at fishing for compliments or a self-esteem boost. This post is mostly just reflecting on seeing my high school journey from a new perspective. It's something I have been wanting to write out for awhile and finally have the words to put to it.
I grew up in Rogers, Arkansas (Go Mounties!) back when there was only one high school. If I had to classify mysef into a subset of the Rogers High school population, I guess I would label myself as part of the "overachievers club." Yes, I was one of those crazy students that would be upset with a "B"....I actually told my husband the other night that I cried when I opened my letter with my AP score and found out I had made a 3, instead of a 4 or a 5. It completely devastated me for a couple of days. Geez. It was boderline ridiculous. Actually, let's call it what it was...it was my idol. Grades and accomplishments was what drove me and gave me joy.
I was also in the band. And the jazz band. Oh, and I took piano lessons....you get the picture. Overachiever music girl. And my dad was my band director....overachiever music girl who doesn't get in trouble...lol!
To be honest, I was never comfortable in my own skin in high school. When I look at my confidence level know as compared to then, it looks pretty abysmal. I had friends who liked me, good grades, plenty of extracurricular activities to make most colleges satisfied....but I felt very uncomfortable being the good girl with good grades who never got into trouble because I felt like I was viewed as boring...I felt invisible a lot of the time. I didn't feel thankful for the way the Lord had gifted me. I wanted other gifts....like some hand/eye coordination.....something that got me a letterman jacket. Even though I was already a follower of Christ and I desired to serve him, I felt alone in my walk some of the time. I felt like sometimes I didn't have anyone to talk to about the things the Lord was doing in my heart. I didn't know how to talk to people outside my circle of friends. I felt like everyone who looked at me was secretly laughing at me. I felt like an outsider. I stuck out. I didn't fit the status quo. And to be completely honest, I kind of wanted to be an insider...I mean, I wanted to be one of the kids in the "popular" crowd. I wanted to be in the same circle of friends that Troy Bolton in High School Musical (OMG....yes I totally went there..) was in. Just writing all this down makes me sad for that old version of me. How many things did I miss out on because of being so wrapped up in others opinions of me? How many days did I waste with thoughts of wanting what others had instead of what the Lord had so graciously given me (contentment seems to be a lesson I have to keep coming back to to learn).
But looking back I see the BLESSSING in the path the Lord took me through in high school. This is the lovely thing about being in my 30's now...I have gained some perspective and a small bit of wisdom, not much, but some. Looking back now, I see how the Lord was preparing me for a life of counting the cost of following him. He was working when I was the girl that felt like I stuck out for sticking to the call of Christ on my life...when it meant no dates or fewer invites to hang out. He was working in my heart as I learned how to discipline myself in studying for classes so I could transfer that love of learning to learning more about Him. He was there, with me in the nights in my bedroom when I felt alone and felt the sting of rejection and he was teaching me that what I was looking for in relationships with others, I could find perfectly and more abundantly in my relationship with him. I see the Lord's provision in how he protected me from tempting situations and gave me a circle of friends in high school that,while we did goofy things, they weren't dangerous or reckless. Most of all, God has taken that much afraid girl,who thought her good grades and achievements were the only things that she had to offer, and replaced her with a woman who knows she has nothing to offer the King of Kings...because even her best is as filthy rags. He has replaced her confidence in worldly, shallow things, like the accolades of men, with confidence in Christ. I guess I have known for a long time that God was going to call me to live a life different than most people and he started breaking me of the desire of what was status quo all the way back when I was 15.
Here's the other part of the blessing....even though for a season (a long season) I felt like an outsider, and although I still feel like an alien and stranger in this world, the Lord has been so good to give me Himself in exchange for my loneliness during those high school years. And as he has filled me up and I have learned that he is my source for everything, he has been so faithful to open my eyes to the great cloud of witnesses I have been surrounded by, past and present. He has shown me what good, solid friendships look like that are based on a common bond of the love of his son. He has shown me how to cross the borders of my comfort zone and forge friendships with those who don't look, think, or act like me.
My hope in writing this is that if you feel like you don't fit in, even as one who is in Christ, that you will RUN and CLING to Him in your loneliness. I feel like the Lord will take us all through seasons like this because it teaches us to rely ONLY on Him for our satisfaction, comfort, and confidence. The gift of not feeling like we fit in is knowing we must be on the right path! Because God calls us to identify ourselves with Him and when we do that, he moves in our lives, and puts in us not only a desire to follow him, but a longing....a longing which this world can't satisfy but one day will be satisfied when we go home to be with HIM! High school students....don't trade in the lures of the world for 3 years of popularity...look to Christ. College students, don't trade in what you want right now for what will come later according to God's plan Look to Christ. The words of this old hymn are in my mind as I'm typing:
Oh, soul are you weary and troubled
No light in the darkness you see.
There's light for a look at the savior
And life more abundant and free.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in his wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of his glory and grace.
Monday, May 16, 2016
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
They're All Our Students Part II: Cooperation, not Competition
Recently, our church has been going through a series on 1 Corinthians entitled, "When Churches Lose Their Way." There have been some really good messages that have benefited me...particularly the sermon about division. Take a listen here if you want: http://www.ubcfayetteville.org/2016/01/brad-wheeler-division-1-corinthians-110-421/
I remember early in our college ministry years, one particular student started becoming unable to come to our weekly activities anymore because of involvement in K-Life. To be perfectly honest, I was really frustrated. This student was stellar ( a youth group super star if you will) and I felt like she was being "stolen" from us by another ministry. I felt like we were always losing some of our top students out to other things that while they were great ministries, they weren't "our" ministry. It was a naive and selfish view that was short sighted and not very kingdom minded.
Sometimes I think we can find ourselves in the same world as the Corinthian church in 1 Corinthians. Instead of some following Apollos, some following Paul, and some following Christ (1 Corinthians 3) our groups have different divisions, like STUMO, CRU, BCM, the Navigators, and the like. We start the beginning of the year and look at the student body as a pie to be divided up. We feel the need to swoop in and get students plugged in before someone else snatches them up.
Every year, our ministry houses the girls that go through sorority recruitment the week before school starts. They come into our building (along with other places on campus) to rest, cool off, watch movies, and wait until they go to the next house party they have on their schedule. The first few years I would get so frustrated as I tried to engage girls in conversation, hoping my personality and conversation would win them as a BCM student. Terrible game plan...terribly selfish. I was making these girls into consumers I was trying to win over rather than girls who desperately need to see the love of Jesus and the truth of the gospel displayed while they are in our care, so I changed my mindset. I needed to think more about reaching people and making disciples instead of building up numbers in a ministry. I began using my role during recruitment week to display the love of Christ, not the my love for the BCM and really cool things began to happen. We started asking local churches to come in and help host during recruitment, because above all, we want to help students connect with local churches. If they can't do a campus ministry and a local church we want them to pick a local church (because as my husband says, there is no BCM after college). Women from these churches (a lot of them who had been involved in Greek life themselves) did an amazing job as they engaged these girls in conversation and invited them to Sunday services. We started asking other ministries to come in and send female staff to help on days we were short handed...particularly, ministries that already had a strong greek presence. While we would love to have more of a greek presence in our ministry it would be selfish of us to not point students to ministries that are the best fit for them. We saw greek students get connected immediately to ministries and churches.
The Lord has shown me in the last several years how we are called to be connectors on this campus. We should be seeking, as disciples of Christ, to want to serve each person as they need us to. Sometimes that means we plant the seed of the gospel while they are in our building for sorority recruitment at the BCM, but CRU gets to water the seed and God gives growth until at last the truth of the gospel blooms forth as the students attends a local church. Other times, it may mean we recommend a church that isn't ours because it is a better fit for the student we are counseling. As we see the multitudes before us, let us have compassion. Let us not think of winning them over for the sake of our own pride in the ministry we serve, but for the sake of souls in need of a Savior. Let's work together for the gospel..cooperating, not competing, as we see the day draw near...because on that day when every knee bows and every tongue confesses, it will not be the name of the BCM or First Baptist wherever or STUMO that we cry, but the name of Jesus.
I remember early in our college ministry years, one particular student started becoming unable to come to our weekly activities anymore because of involvement in K-Life. To be perfectly honest, I was really frustrated. This student was stellar ( a youth group super star if you will) and I felt like she was being "stolen" from us by another ministry. I felt like we were always losing some of our top students out to other things that while they were great ministries, they weren't "our" ministry. It was a naive and selfish view that was short sighted and not very kingdom minded.
Sometimes I think we can find ourselves in the same world as the Corinthian church in 1 Corinthians. Instead of some following Apollos, some following Paul, and some following Christ (1 Corinthians 3) our groups have different divisions, like STUMO, CRU, BCM, the Navigators, and the like. We start the beginning of the year and look at the student body as a pie to be divided up. We feel the need to swoop in and get students plugged in before someone else snatches them up.
Every year, our ministry houses the girls that go through sorority recruitment the week before school starts. They come into our building (along with other places on campus) to rest, cool off, watch movies, and wait until they go to the next house party they have on their schedule. The first few years I would get so frustrated as I tried to engage girls in conversation, hoping my personality and conversation would win them as a BCM student. Terrible game plan...terribly selfish. I was making these girls into consumers I was trying to win over rather than girls who desperately need to see the love of Jesus and the truth of the gospel displayed while they are in our care, so I changed my mindset. I needed to think more about reaching people and making disciples instead of building up numbers in a ministry. I began using my role during recruitment week to display the love of Christ, not the my love for the BCM and really cool things began to happen. We started asking local churches to come in and help host during recruitment, because above all, we want to help students connect with local churches. If they can't do a campus ministry and a local church we want them to pick a local church (because as my husband says, there is no BCM after college). Women from these churches (a lot of them who had been involved in Greek life themselves) did an amazing job as they engaged these girls in conversation and invited them to Sunday services. We started asking other ministries to come in and send female staff to help on days we were short handed...particularly, ministries that already had a strong greek presence. While we would love to have more of a greek presence in our ministry it would be selfish of us to not point students to ministries that are the best fit for them. We saw greek students get connected immediately to ministries and churches.
The Lord has shown me in the last several years how we are called to be connectors on this campus. We should be seeking, as disciples of Christ, to want to serve each person as they need us to. Sometimes that means we plant the seed of the gospel while they are in our building for sorority recruitment at the BCM, but CRU gets to water the seed and God gives growth until at last the truth of the gospel blooms forth as the students attends a local church. Other times, it may mean we recommend a church that isn't ours because it is a better fit for the student we are counseling. As we see the multitudes before us, let us have compassion. Let us not think of winning them over for the sake of our own pride in the ministry we serve, but for the sake of souls in need of a Savior. Let's work together for the gospel..cooperating, not competing, as we see the day draw near...because on that day when every knee bows and every tongue confesses, it will not be the name of the BCM or First Baptist wherever or STUMO that we cry, but the name of Jesus.
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
Sacrifice
This morning Cole had to take child #2 to the urgent care clinic. He woke up with a tummy that felt hard and was tender to the touch. As a mama, I don't wait or mess around with abdominal pain. It's not something that I wait out or ignore. My "what if's" in my brain kick in to high gear, so off to the clinic they went this morning. As of right now, it looks like it is just some bad constipation. So a copy and some suppositories later, here we are sitting on the couch waiting for the meds to kick in and help out boy go, if you know what I mean.
Every time my kids are sick, I have to work hard to reel in my worse case scenario imagination. My imagination is both a blessing and a curse. So right now as I sit here and watch my little guy moan in pain, I want so badly for it to stop, minor illness though it is. I won't so badly to take it all away. I would take this pain on for him if I could. And that gets me thinking about Jesus.
Being a parent gives you such a different perspective on the Lord. When your child throws a tantrum, you see your own selfishness and depravity as you think of the many times you have thrown your own spiritual tantrum because God didn't answer your prayers the way you wanted or in your timing. You are reminded of your inability to keep all of God's statues when you see your child make the same bad choice again and again; you realize that you do the same thing with the Lord with your own son patterns. And today I see how much love that Christ had for us as he took on the pain and suffering of our sin on the cross. How amazing! He took on that burden for us! He took on the pain of my sin and died on a cross so I don't have to live a life separated from a holy God. I am now made right with the Lord because of Christ's willingness to take on sin and pain and death for me. So as I sit hear today holding my boy, i going to let the truth of the gospel wash over me. I am going to let this minor suffering today remind me of the enormous love my Savior has for me, that he took on my sin to set me free. I pray today it will remind me of the weight of my sin and help me love those around me more like Christ does. What about you? What things do you see in your own life that are types and shadows of the gospel? Let them point us to Christ and transform our lives today!
Saturday, October 10, 2015
If I Could Write a Letter to Me....
Several years ago, Brad Paisley had a song that played on the radio where he wrote a letter to his teenage self. I have thought of this song often since I hit my 30's. The wonderful thing about being 30 is that I lived enough life to realize I am not all wise, but had enough life experience to have some wisdom. Here's what I would put in my letter to my teenage self. Caution: Sass level is about to increase!
1. Know that you are not enough. You were not created to be independent of an all-knowing, all-seeing, outside of time God. If you were enough, you would have no need of a Savior. That is why all of the self-love advice that you receive still has you feeling depleted and unsatisfied. Your worth and beauty comes from being a daughter of the King. He has taken away your shame and sin and has made you HIS. And being his is enough!
2. Don't let good grades become an idol. Grades are important but are not the most important thing. When you do your schoolwork, work as unto the Lord and NOT unto man. And trust if you have been faithful to study, the Lord will be faithful to give you the right grade, which, by the way, may not always be an "A." And if you do get a bad grade, know that the God that you serve is bigger than an "F." He is the same one that raised Christ from the dead...do you seriously think he can't overcome a bad grade? Let HIM define what success looks like. Remember the story of Joseph...halfway through that story he was imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit...but look how God was glorified in that.
3. Just because something is advertised as stylish doesn't mean you have to buy into it....oh sister...if you could see some of the pics of you now....and how some of these styles are coming back again. Make your own decisions on what looks good on you....who cares if it's "in". You will waste time, money, and energy trying to keep up with the ever changing style of society. Be modest and be you.
4. You are bigger than someone's opinion of you. You, dear girl, are a people pleaser. You desperately want to be liked...but guess what? Not everyone is going to like you. Some people are going to hate you. And that's ok. But know that just because they don't see your worth, point of view, or talent, does not mean their opinion is right or true. Again, you will waste too much time worrying and stressing over opinions of people who don't really matter. Seek truth in the word of God and let your only offense be the gospel of Christ.
5. Everyone goes through an awkward phase...EVERYONE! I know you feel like you are in a body that doesn't feel completely like yours. Everyone has their body issues...too skinny, too big, acne, short, tall....the list goes on and on. Refer back to number one. The beauty that matters is the beauty that comes from the radiance of the love of Christ that is in you, and no matter what anyone tells you, that is enough. When you are comfortable with yourself, others will be too.
6. Create healthy habits now. Learn how to eat healthy and exercise now. It won't hit you so hard when you start your freshman year of college if you will learn that man cannot live on pop tarts and diet coke alone;)
7. Be real. Your emotions and ability to empathize and be sensitive to the things around you are a gift. When you are real with others, they learn that it is safe to be real with you. It's ok to cry...even in front of others. Tears are not a sign of weakness but the sign of a caring heart. You do not have to contain your emotions in an attempt to show strength. It will blow up in your face every time. At the same time, don't use your emotions as a means of manipulation. Be pure of heart.
8. Be ok with being "you." You love reading. You are a bookworm. You love to write. You dream of being a wife and mom one day (fyi....that dreams comes true and it's the hardest and BEST job you will ever have!). You can sit at the piano for hours and play. You love to sit alone outside and daydream. You love all things old, antique, vintage. You want to be in bed by 10 and up with the sun. You like spending time with the senior adults in your church. You have an old soul already at the age of 15. You would rather sit at home on Saturday night over anything else. You love spending time with your family. BE OKAY WITH ALL OF THIS.....God has uniquely shaped you to be you. Don't change for anyone accept him if something in your character doesn't match up with His call on your life.
9. Keep your standards high. Don't give up because you don't see any guys out there you can hold up to your ideal. He's out there...I promise! Be patient and wait for someone who will pursue you and lead you in the way God intended. The love story God writes for you is so much more amazing than anything you find in a book or your own imagination. Develop into the woman of God the Lord is calling you to be. The man (not boy) that God has for you will be along your side and you won't even notice because you will be so focused on the ONE who already is the love of your life...Christ. He is your prince...the one that has set you free from the curse of sin and death. He has awakened you to a new life in HIM. So while you wait for your intended to come along devote yourself to prayer, to being in God's word, and to following hard after the Lord. Hide yourself in HIM! Those are the things that will be attractive to the kind of guy you want to pursue you. And let guys pursue you...(and your question is what if they don't)...and if they don't, then they aren't the one for you anyways. Let God deal with the consequences of your obedience. He already knows road. Let him guide you.
10. Keep Christ at the center of all things. He is your truth...he is your guide...he is your everything. Run to him, cling to him, cry to him....because he know, he sees, and he cares. He is in all, through all, and in him all things hold together. Hold fast to him as life seems to be spinning out of control. At just the right time, he will work, even if that doesn't always match up with the timing you thing he should have.
I'll see you in the mirror in 15ish years......
1. Know that you are not enough. You were not created to be independent of an all-knowing, all-seeing, outside of time God. If you were enough, you would have no need of a Savior. That is why all of the self-love advice that you receive still has you feeling depleted and unsatisfied. Your worth and beauty comes from being a daughter of the King. He has taken away your shame and sin and has made you HIS. And being his is enough!
2. Don't let good grades become an idol. Grades are important but are not the most important thing. When you do your schoolwork, work as unto the Lord and NOT unto man. And trust if you have been faithful to study, the Lord will be faithful to give you the right grade, which, by the way, may not always be an "A." And if you do get a bad grade, know that the God that you serve is bigger than an "F." He is the same one that raised Christ from the dead...do you seriously think he can't overcome a bad grade? Let HIM define what success looks like. Remember the story of Joseph...halfway through that story he was imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit...but look how God was glorified in that.
3. Just because something is advertised as stylish doesn't mean you have to buy into it....oh sister...if you could see some of the pics of you now....and how some of these styles are coming back again. Make your own decisions on what looks good on you....who cares if it's "in". You will waste time, money, and energy trying to keep up with the ever changing style of society. Be modest and be you.
4. You are bigger than someone's opinion of you. You, dear girl, are a people pleaser. You desperately want to be liked...but guess what? Not everyone is going to like you. Some people are going to hate you. And that's ok. But know that just because they don't see your worth, point of view, or talent, does not mean their opinion is right or true. Again, you will waste too much time worrying and stressing over opinions of people who don't really matter. Seek truth in the word of God and let your only offense be the gospel of Christ.
5. Everyone goes through an awkward phase...EVERYONE! I know you feel like you are in a body that doesn't feel completely like yours. Everyone has their body issues...too skinny, too big, acne, short, tall....the list goes on and on. Refer back to number one. The beauty that matters is the beauty that comes from the radiance of the love of Christ that is in you, and no matter what anyone tells you, that is enough. When you are comfortable with yourself, others will be too.
6. Create healthy habits now. Learn how to eat healthy and exercise now. It won't hit you so hard when you start your freshman year of college if you will learn that man cannot live on pop tarts and diet coke alone;)
7. Be real. Your emotions and ability to empathize and be sensitive to the things around you are a gift. When you are real with others, they learn that it is safe to be real with you. It's ok to cry...even in front of others. Tears are not a sign of weakness but the sign of a caring heart. You do not have to contain your emotions in an attempt to show strength. It will blow up in your face every time. At the same time, don't use your emotions as a means of manipulation. Be pure of heart.
8. Be ok with being "you." You love reading. You are a bookworm. You love to write. You dream of being a wife and mom one day (fyi....that dreams comes true and it's the hardest and BEST job you will ever have!). You can sit at the piano for hours and play. You love to sit alone outside and daydream. You love all things old, antique, vintage. You want to be in bed by 10 and up with the sun. You like spending time with the senior adults in your church. You have an old soul already at the age of 15. You would rather sit at home on Saturday night over anything else. You love spending time with your family. BE OKAY WITH ALL OF THIS.....God has uniquely shaped you to be you. Don't change for anyone accept him if something in your character doesn't match up with His call on your life.
9. Keep your standards high. Don't give up because you don't see any guys out there you can hold up to your ideal. He's out there...I promise! Be patient and wait for someone who will pursue you and lead you in the way God intended. The love story God writes for you is so much more amazing than anything you find in a book or your own imagination. Develop into the woman of God the Lord is calling you to be. The man (not boy) that God has for you will be along your side and you won't even notice because you will be so focused on the ONE who already is the love of your life...Christ. He is your prince...the one that has set you free from the curse of sin and death. He has awakened you to a new life in HIM. So while you wait for your intended to come along devote yourself to prayer, to being in God's word, and to following hard after the Lord. Hide yourself in HIM! Those are the things that will be attractive to the kind of guy you want to pursue you. And let guys pursue you...(and your question is what if they don't)...and if they don't, then they aren't the one for you anyways. Let God deal with the consequences of your obedience. He already knows road. Let him guide you.
10. Keep Christ at the center of all things. He is your truth...he is your guide...he is your everything. Run to him, cling to him, cry to him....because he know, he sees, and he cares. He is in all, through all, and in him all things hold together. Hold fast to him as life seems to be spinning out of control. At just the right time, he will work, even if that doesn't always match up with the timing you thing he should have.
I'll see you in the mirror in 15ish years......
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Fighting Mommy Fatigue
Have you ever just had one of those days where you wake up and already feel depleted as a mom? I have...especially in the last two weeks. There just seem to be days as a mom (especially if you have small children) where you wake up knowing you are already spent and the day has just begun. As I've had these days lately, I've been trying to find ways to fight this "mommy fatigue." Some of these ideas are my own, but most I've learned from other women in my life who are much wiser than me.
1. Spend time with the Lord.
The best thing to do any day is to spend time with the Creator, but even more so on a tough day. We believe the lie so much of the time as mothers that we must muscle through hard days in our own strength. Isaiah 40:29-31 has been a passage that I have clung to these last couple of weeks.
"He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."
Did you see that....he can give us the strength though we have none. He IS our strength. Why do we listen to the lies of the enemy and try to go it alone? Spending time with the Lord can be especially challenging if you have very small children that need lots of attention. But I believe that the Lord can take even the small bit of the word we digest and multiply it for his glory. So on those hard days, prayer journal a short prayer or find a short psalm that speaks exactly to your need. Pray and ask they Lord to be glorified in your life as you seek to be the best wife and mother possible and know he will answer.
2. Fresh Air
When I had my first child, a friend told me that every day I needed to step outside once and breath in the air outside my front door, even if it was just for a few minutes. As a stay at home mom sometimes I get so caught up in the world inside my house that I fail to remember that there is a bigger world out there. My first baby was difficult to soothe in the early months and a terrible sleeper. There would be times where I had to lay her down in her crib and walk out the front door for just a few minutes to regain my sanity and then, go back into battle. Something about that brief break seemed to help me feel slightly refreshed and able to go on.
3. Get out of the house.
This is kind of in the same vein as the last tip. I can get so caught up with everything that there is to do at home...and frankly, sometimes staying put is easier than setting foot outside the house with three that are four and under. But every once in awhile, the change of pace really helps my stamina as a mama. You don't even have to get out of the car....just get out of the house! Sonic and starbucks drink runs seem simple, but can make a big difference on a day that is difficult. Are the kids crazy? Go for a walk on a trail or at a park to burn off some energy (maybe after you've already made that starbucks drink run!)
4. Get Moving
For me personally, I am a much better mom and wife when I exercise. I can always tell a difference in energy levels the days I get up and get a workout in. It doesn't have to be anything crazy, but even just a good walk can help you blow off some steam of mommyhood stress. Find something you like to do and get your blood pumping.
5. Fuel Your Body
My husband has done quite a bit of overseas traveling. One thing he always advises our students to do is to stay hydrated as they travel and after they return. Jet lag can be brutal, but dehydration can make it even more miserable. As a mama, there are seasons we run on little sleep and low energy. On those days, make sure you drink plenty of water to stay hydrated so as not to make the fatigue you have even worse. Also, make sure you are eating a healthy diet....lots of whole foods. Make sure your diet isn't just the crusts of your children's pb and j's and a handful of goldfish. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your family.
6. Phone a Friend
Do you have friend's that you can text or call on a hard day? I am very thankful that the Lord has given me some of these friendships as I have become a mom. I have a handful of friends that I can text and request prayer from anytime I need to. I also have friends who are willing to come over or meet up so our kids can play and I can get a break. Don't have those kind of friends yet???? Then, start by being one of those friends. As believers, we are called to bear one another's burdens and share in one another's joy. My mother in law says you have to teach people how to treat you. Maybe sometimes that means making the first move and taking your friend's children on a hard day for her and hopefully she in turn will learn to do the same for you.
7. Read something encouraging
A pastor's wife gave me this idea. She said take 15 minutes everyday to read something encouraging. I try to find something that helps renew my perspective on the days that I can't see past all of the discipline I've had to hand out that day. Find some good books on being a godly wife and mother, something that will give you renewed vigor as you seek to glorify the Lord in raising godly children.
8. Write yourself encouraging reminders
When I did my student teaching, I had an excellent mentor teacher who gave lots of feedback. One way she gave feedback was to write little stick it notes while I taught a lesson and leave the notes on my desk for me to look over later. I have index cards stuck all over the cabinets near my kitchen sink...since I'm there a lot. Most are verses I am trying to apply to my life (Lots of verses about kindness and patience right now!), but I also have quotes from wise wives and mothers that I want to try to emulate. It's funny how you glance at those little index cards and the words begin to seep into your mind and prayerfully work themselves out in your life.
This is by no means an extensive list, but one I hope will help you on the days that seem impossibly long and tiring. Keep up the good fight, mama's out there....you are doing kingdom work that has ETERNAL VALUE!
1. Spend time with the Lord.
The best thing to do any day is to spend time with the Creator, but even more so on a tough day. We believe the lie so much of the time as mothers that we must muscle through hard days in our own strength. Isaiah 40:29-31 has been a passage that I have clung to these last couple of weeks.
"He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."
Did you see that....he can give us the strength though we have none. He IS our strength. Why do we listen to the lies of the enemy and try to go it alone? Spending time with the Lord can be especially challenging if you have very small children that need lots of attention. But I believe that the Lord can take even the small bit of the word we digest and multiply it for his glory. So on those hard days, prayer journal a short prayer or find a short psalm that speaks exactly to your need. Pray and ask they Lord to be glorified in your life as you seek to be the best wife and mother possible and know he will answer.
2. Fresh Air
When I had my first child, a friend told me that every day I needed to step outside once and breath in the air outside my front door, even if it was just for a few minutes. As a stay at home mom sometimes I get so caught up in the world inside my house that I fail to remember that there is a bigger world out there. My first baby was difficult to soothe in the early months and a terrible sleeper. There would be times where I had to lay her down in her crib and walk out the front door for just a few minutes to regain my sanity and then, go back into battle. Something about that brief break seemed to help me feel slightly refreshed and able to go on.
3. Get out of the house.
This is kind of in the same vein as the last tip. I can get so caught up with everything that there is to do at home...and frankly, sometimes staying put is easier than setting foot outside the house with three that are four and under. But every once in awhile, the change of pace really helps my stamina as a mama. You don't even have to get out of the car....just get out of the house! Sonic and starbucks drink runs seem simple, but can make a big difference on a day that is difficult. Are the kids crazy? Go for a walk on a trail or at a park to burn off some energy (maybe after you've already made that starbucks drink run!)
4. Get Moving
For me personally, I am a much better mom and wife when I exercise. I can always tell a difference in energy levels the days I get up and get a workout in. It doesn't have to be anything crazy, but even just a good walk can help you blow off some steam of mommyhood stress. Find something you like to do and get your blood pumping.
5. Fuel Your Body
My husband has done quite a bit of overseas traveling. One thing he always advises our students to do is to stay hydrated as they travel and after they return. Jet lag can be brutal, but dehydration can make it even more miserable. As a mama, there are seasons we run on little sleep and low energy. On those days, make sure you drink plenty of water to stay hydrated so as not to make the fatigue you have even worse. Also, make sure you are eating a healthy diet....lots of whole foods. Make sure your diet isn't just the crusts of your children's pb and j's and a handful of goldfish. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your family.
6. Phone a Friend
Do you have friend's that you can text or call on a hard day? I am very thankful that the Lord has given me some of these friendships as I have become a mom. I have a handful of friends that I can text and request prayer from anytime I need to. I also have friends who are willing to come over or meet up so our kids can play and I can get a break. Don't have those kind of friends yet???? Then, start by being one of those friends. As believers, we are called to bear one another's burdens and share in one another's joy. My mother in law says you have to teach people how to treat you. Maybe sometimes that means making the first move and taking your friend's children on a hard day for her and hopefully she in turn will learn to do the same for you.
7. Read something encouraging
A pastor's wife gave me this idea. She said take 15 minutes everyday to read something encouraging. I try to find something that helps renew my perspective on the days that I can't see past all of the discipline I've had to hand out that day. Find some good books on being a godly wife and mother, something that will give you renewed vigor as you seek to glorify the Lord in raising godly children.
8. Write yourself encouraging reminders
When I did my student teaching, I had an excellent mentor teacher who gave lots of feedback. One way she gave feedback was to write little stick it notes while I taught a lesson and leave the notes on my desk for me to look over later. I have index cards stuck all over the cabinets near my kitchen sink...since I'm there a lot. Most are verses I am trying to apply to my life (Lots of verses about kindness and patience right now!), but I also have quotes from wise wives and mothers that I want to try to emulate. It's funny how you glance at those little index cards and the words begin to seep into your mind and prayerfully work themselves out in your life.
This is by no means an extensive list, but one I hope will help you on the days that seem impossibly long and tiring. Keep up the good fight, mama's out there....you are doing kingdom work that has ETERNAL VALUE!
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
Empty
Did anyone else's week last week seem like everyday was a Monday (in the worst way)? Mine did. It was one of those weeks that leaves you feeling like you just got spit out of a tornado and you're not quite sure where you landed. It was a week filled with tears, tantrums, and trials. (and alliterations apparently).
It's not uncommon for us to have stretches of days where we (or just Cole ) has something going. We actually have 17 day stretch in the next couple of weeks where we (ok, mostly Cole) has an activity, out of town trip, or event planned every day. They are always challenging, but mostly sanctifying for everyone involved.
The worst day actually came on Tuesday ( I know, seriously....I couldn't even make it through Tuesday before losing it). Monday had been long because Cole was out of town. Tuesday was the first day of Wee Care at our church. I was super excited for the older kiddos to get some fun time and for me to get a bit of a break; my kiddos, however, missed the excitement train and got on the meltdown wagon instead. Even my Jitterbug, who is my happy, social girl, had a complete meltdown. I wish I could say it was one glittering, sorrowful tear, but no...it was a cling to mama, pleading, screaming kind of meltdown. It was one of those moments where it really stinks to be the adult. You really just want to pick up your kid and say, "Never mind, this is hard, so we aren't going to do this," but we would just have to go through the same thing again on Thursday if we didn't fight the battle now. So I bit my lip, pried her off of me, told her I would see her after lunch, and did what any other self-respecting mama would do.....waited until I got into the hallway and melted into a puddle while two of my close friends held me and let me cry. Talk about humbling...and somewhat humilating, if I'm really honest. Does anyone else hate to cry in front of others, or is it just me? I just felt like I was showing the world I couldn't keep it together.
Tuesday afternoon came with a battle of wills during naptime. And in my mind I knew Tuesday night was coming...with at least 10 college students coming into our home to have a small group. I already felt so incredibly undone. How in the world can I keep it together while we try to minister to these students? I'm supposed to hold it together, right?! Tuesday night came with students in our home who had great discussion on community and stayed afterward to hang out. But while the discussion was going on, I was in the back room dealing with a two year old and a four year old who had forgotten that they liked each other and were screaming at each other instead. I came away Tuesday evening feeling so defeated. My kids had put their worst behavior on display, I hadn't gotten to host the way I wanted, and I had cried in public. I had let the world know I didn't have it all together.
The rest of the week went similarly. Being poured out again and again and feeling like their was nothing left to give and that what you did have to give wasn't good enough. Struggles with my looks, doubts of my parenting skills, feeling trapped by the duties of motherhood...I was drowning in doubt and hopelessness. And I feel like the Lord let me stay there for awhile, and it wasn't until today that I realized why. I NEEDED to be allowed to run on empty for awhile. Why? Because it reminded me of my need of Jesus. If I forget to eat breakfast in the morning, my body eventually starts sending me signals that I am in need of energy...tiredness, dizziness, shakiness, headaches...all of which point to fatigue. It reminds me I need to fuel my body with something to keep me going. It's the same way in our spiritual walk....the Lord will let us run ourselves into the ground sometimes because it points to our humanness and our inability to minister outside of His power. And in our weakness His power is shown.
The funny thing is that THIS week, I've had so much encouragement and reassurance in ministry. I actually got a conversation in with our small group. Someone complimented and admired my parenting that they witnessed on a day when i felt more like Miss Hannigan and less like Mary Poppins. God is so good to not only use us in spite of our weakness but also our weaknesses themselves to point others to Him. Are you running on empty? Run to Him! Let your weaknesses remind you and point others to Christ's surpassing power and worth! Let's be willing to be emptied of ourselves to be filled back up with Him!
Thursday, August 20, 2015
They're All Our Students
Before I was a stay-at-home mom, I was an elementary music teacher. I taught in a district that had a high ESL population and also a growing population of poverty. I loved my kiddos. It was a tough environment to work in sometimes, knowing the baggage these kids carried, but incredibly rewarding. While working there, I heard our superintendent say something one day that really stuck with me: "Whether they come from across the street or across the ocean, when they come through our doors they're our kids. They're all our kids." It was a great perspective when the going got tough.
I had forgotten about this little nugget of truth until last spring. It had been a particularly rough day (kind of like the afternoon we are currently having) and in order to make the time until Daddy got home tick away faster, I decided to take the kiddos on a walk around campus. At the time I was six months pregnant and growing larger by the day. My kiddos were less than thankful for this outing and were a bit....rambunctious. Anytime we go on campus during the school day, we get a few looks because we are a little out of place on a college campus. This particular day, we seemed to stick out even more. A pregnant woman, messy hair and no makeup, two kids, crying and screaming, and our radio flyer wagon...yes, the song "Which of These Things Is Not Like the Other" was playing in the back of my mind. To top off our afternoon constitutional, a group of girls we passed started giggling. It was just too much.
As I recounted our "adventure" to Cole that night, I stated between sobs that I was done and I really wanted to talk about living somewhere else not so close to campus. I was tired of sticking out like a sore thumb. Cole pointed out that college students needed to witness what a family looks like, because so many come from broken or unhealthy ones. That they needed to see what a mom enjoying (or disciplining) her kids looked like. "Well, it doesn't bother me when our (BCM) students see that," I stated flatly. And Cole looked at me and said, "They're ALL our students. We are called to minister to all college students, not just the ones that darken the door of our ministry. All of them, including the silly eighteen year olds that would giggle at a mom having a frustrating day with two children." Whoa...just whoa. Those words of my superintendent came back to me and hit me in the heart. I had lost my perspective! How callous my heart had become to only want to minister to the students in our ministry.
So this morning while I worked sorority recruitment and had moments of, "Does this really matter? Will any of these conversations pan out to anything more? Will any of these girls come to our ministry?", the Lord brought these words back to me again....THEY'RE ALL OUR STUDENTS. I will love them, because God has called me to bring the gospel to ALL PEOPLE. They are our people...and people are frustrating and complicated and messy, but so am I. And if anything our students need to know that I do not hold all the answers and do not have it all together, but I know the one that does! Pray with me that we will see fruit from our efforts helping with recruitment this week, but even if we don't, we will rejoice in the opportunity to serve and that we will be blessed to be a blessing.
I had forgotten about this little nugget of truth until last spring. It had been a particularly rough day (kind of like the afternoon we are currently having) and in order to make the time until Daddy got home tick away faster, I decided to take the kiddos on a walk around campus. At the time I was six months pregnant and growing larger by the day. My kiddos were less than thankful for this outing and were a bit....rambunctious. Anytime we go on campus during the school day, we get a few looks because we are a little out of place on a college campus. This particular day, we seemed to stick out even more. A pregnant woman, messy hair and no makeup, two kids, crying and screaming, and our radio flyer wagon...yes, the song "Which of These Things Is Not Like the Other" was playing in the back of my mind. To top off our afternoon constitutional, a group of girls we passed started giggling. It was just too much.
As I recounted our "adventure" to Cole that night, I stated between sobs that I was done and I really wanted to talk about living somewhere else not so close to campus. I was tired of sticking out like a sore thumb. Cole pointed out that college students needed to witness what a family looks like, because so many come from broken or unhealthy ones. That they needed to see what a mom enjoying (or disciplining) her kids looked like. "Well, it doesn't bother me when our (BCM) students see that," I stated flatly. And Cole looked at me and said, "They're ALL our students. We are called to minister to all college students, not just the ones that darken the door of our ministry. All of them, including the silly eighteen year olds that would giggle at a mom having a frustrating day with two children." Whoa...just whoa. Those words of my superintendent came back to me and hit me in the heart. I had lost my perspective! How callous my heart had become to only want to minister to the students in our ministry.
So this morning while I worked sorority recruitment and had moments of, "Does this really matter? Will any of these conversations pan out to anything more? Will any of these girls come to our ministry?", the Lord brought these words back to me again....THEY'RE ALL OUR STUDENTS. I will love them, because God has called me to bring the gospel to ALL PEOPLE. They are our people...and people are frustrating and complicated and messy, but so am I. And if anything our students need to know that I do not hold all the answers and do not have it all together, but I know the one that does! Pray with me that we will see fruit from our efforts helping with recruitment this week, but even if we don't, we will rejoice in the opportunity to serve and that we will be blessed to be a blessing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)