They're All Our Students

Before I was a stay-at-home mom, I was an elementary music teacher.  I taught in a district that had a high ESL population and also a growing population of poverty.  I loved my kiddos.  It was a tough environment to work in sometimes, knowing the baggage these kids carried, but incredibly rewarding.  While working there, I heard our superintendent say something one day that really stuck with me: "Whether they come from across the street or across the ocean, when they come through our doors they're our kids.  They're all our kids."  It was a great perspective when the going got tough. 

I had forgotten about this little nugget of truth until last spring.  It had been a particularly rough day (kind of like the afternoon we are currently having) and in order to make the time until Daddy got home tick away faster, I decided to take the kiddos on a walk around campus.  At the time I was six months pregnant and growing larger by the day.  My kiddos were less than thankful for this outing and were a bit....rambunctious.  Anytime we go on campus during the school day, we get a few looks because we are a little out of place on a college campus.  This particular day, we seemed to stick out even more.  A pregnant woman, messy hair and no makeup, two kids, crying and screaming, and our radio flyer wagon...yes, the song "Which of These Things Is Not Like the Other" was playing in the back of my mind.  To top off our afternoon constitutional, a group of girls we passed started giggling. It was just too much. 

As I recounted our "adventure" to Cole that night, I stated between sobs that I was done and I really wanted to talk about living somewhere else not so close to campus.  I was tired of sticking out like a sore thumb.  Cole pointed out that college students needed to witness what a family looks like, because so many come from broken or unhealthy ones. That they needed to see what a mom enjoying (or disciplining) her kids looked like.  "Well, it doesn't bother me when our (BCM) students see that," I stated flatly.  And Cole looked at me and said, "They're ALL our students.  We are called to minister to all college students, not just the ones that darken the door of our ministry.  All of them, including the silly eighteen year olds that would giggle at a mom having a frustrating day with two children."  Whoa...just whoa.  Those words of my superintendent came back to me and hit me in the heart.  I had lost my perspective! How callous my heart had become to only want to minister to the students in our ministry.

So this morning while I worked sorority recruitment and had moments of, "Does this really matter? Will any of these conversations pan out to anything more?  Will any of these girls come to our ministry?", the Lord brought these words back to me again....THEY'RE ALL OUR STUDENTS.  I will love them, because God has called me to bring the gospel to ALL PEOPLE.  They are our people...and people are frustrating and complicated and messy, but so am I.  And if anything our students need to know that I do not hold all the answers and do not have it all together, but I know the one that does! Pray with me that we will see fruit from our efforts helping with recruitment this week, but even if we don't, we will rejoice in the opportunity to serve and that we will be blessed to be a blessing. 

Welcome Weeks

  

    Welcome weeks....the very phrase can cause a college minister's wife to feel both elation and utter panic all at once.  "Welcome Weeks" is the term used by the University of Arkansas to classify the week before the fall semester begins and the first week of  classes.  If you are in college ministry, this is PRIME TIME to meet new students and get connected with them.  If you are a college minister's wife, it means that your husband will be occupied a LOT for the next two weeks.... 

Activities the week before classes start includes sorority recruitment (more on how we are involved in this later this week), move-in, early week for the Razorback Marching Band, and various other activities on campus hosted by various groups in order to get students plugged in and adjusted to life at their new "home."

For BCM staff, it means they are pushing themselves and our students all week long to get out and meet students on campus.  For several years, we did a big block party to welcome back students and introduce them to the BCM.  We realized however, we weren't pushing our students to go to the campus.  We kept expecting the campus to come to us.  So, we switched gears and came up with a plan that gave us the opportunity to interact with students where they are already at.  Our new game plan involved going to different parts of campus every evening and hosting a low-cost, high-invitation (meaning students have to get out during the day and invite students) event.  Most of these events encourage conversation and building relationships with new students.  This year our activities include yard games near a dorm, glow in the dark ultimate frisbee on Old Main lawn, a trip to the Drive-In, attending Friday Night Live (a university sponsored event that is populated by freshman and international students) and hiking in Devils Den.  We encourage our students to get phone numbers of the people they make good connections with and to CONTACT THEM...facebook, twitter, vine, text message or just a good ol' phone call is sometimes all a person needs to encourage them to come give the BCM a try.

And that's just this week....next week includes the launch of Villages (our BCM small groups and our main focus this year), Razorbash (a big event with booths of local businesses, churches, campus ministries, and student organizations), Freshman Pep Rally, and....oh yeah....classes start!  And in between all of those things, staff and students alike are trying to reconnect with anyone they met in the last week.  Reconnecting could involve meeting up for a meal in the cafeteria or union, grabbing coffee, getting ice cream, or offering to take students on a run to the store. 

Can you see why this time of year is so exciting and exhausting at the same time?  It is so thrilling to get to meet new students and get to see our upperclassmen grow in leadership and ministry as they reach out to underclassmen.  But the days are long for everyone involved.  Cole is up and out the door by 9 and comes home for dinner, only to go back out again until 10 or later. 

So back to the BCM wife....what does this mean for me?  Lots of long days at home with small kiddos (we have three that are four and under).  And my prayer for myself this year is that I wouldn't just seek to survive, but to THRIVE.  I am NOT a staff minister of the BCM;  my first responsibility is to minister well to our family, and then to our students.  Ministry for me right now mostly happens within the walls of our home.  Sometimes that can be hosting a small group or discipling college girls.  Sometimes ministry for me is simply letting our home be a haven for Cole when he comes home. And I want to do this well. I desperately want to not be a heap on the floor when my husband comes home.  I don't want the words that come out of my mouth to be harsh and angry because I am exhausted by the long days.  I don't want my children to dread these weeks because it means mom is on edge and short tempered.

So I am trying to gear up for battle these next two weeks....I am in the word at some point in the day (I'm not fixated on a time as long as it happens). I am in prayer over our current students and the ones the Lord will bring to us this year.  I am trying to get out of the house when I can so my kiddos don't get cabin fever.  I am eating well and drinking lots of water and getting in a workout when I can.  And most of all...I am giving myself and my husband and my kids lots of mercy and grace because the enemy would like nothing more than to distract from the work of the kingdom than by causing conflict in our home.  Will this be the week someone gets sick...YES! It's already happened.  Is my house a war zone from 7 a.m.-8 p.m. while I try to entertain kiddos? Absolutely! Do I have a stash of dark chocolate hidden for my personal consumption when I need a break...you know it!  But the fruit that will come out of my husband and his staff/students pushing hard these first two weeks will hopefully be ETERNAL!  ETERNAL.....isn't that amazing?!  We are doing eternal work for the kingdom as we engage with college students! We are fighting for the souls of these students as we engage them in gospel conversation over yard games or dinner in the Union.  And that is worth two hard weeks out of my year....the souls of students who one day I'll get to stand beside as we sing, "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty...who was and is and is to come!"

Living Among Our People Group

A little over two years ago, we were expecting our second child.  We were living in a two bedroom apartment that had been our home for several years.  Cole and I knew we needed to find a new place to live before baby boy came.  At the time, Cole was the interim director of the Baptist Collegiate Ministry.  We weren't sure if the job would pan out into anything more permanent.  With that in mind, we did not want to buy a house, not knowing how much longer our stay would be in Fayetteville.  

 

One day, Cole came home from work and said, "Ok, I have a crazy idea.  What if we moved into one of the BCM houses?"  Our ministry owns several houses where we house students.  They in turn use their houses for ministry to other students on campus by inviting them to hang out there or hosting a small group.  Seriously, I thought.  This is a terrible idea.  We won't have any privacy.  It will be like living in a glass house.  The kitchen is so small.  There's hardly any storage space or counter space.  There's no garbage disposal or dishwasher.  A long list of cons kept coming to mind.  "Could you make it work for one year?" Cole asked.  Well, yes.  You can do anything for a year.  

 

So we did it.  We moved into a house built in the 1930's that is essentially on campus.  And at first it was hard.  The kitchen was....ummm, unique.  Not a lot of storage space and no garbage disposal or dishwasher.  Then, there were the smokers that like to smoke on the sidewalk in front of our house.  There was only one bathroom.  I felt a lot like Mary Bailey in "What a Wonderful Life."  I was tasked with making this old house a home.  

 

But one day I read an article on missionary wives and mothers and it changed my whole perspective.  It talked about what it was like to live among a people group and blessings and challenges for families who were called to live among the people that they ministered to.  Whoa....that is what God had called us to do.  Our people group is college students and God has called us to do life, day in and day out, with this group of people that we so passionately love and live to serve for the gospel's sake. Our living in the house was recently reconfirmed; I had an itch to start looking elsewhere for a house...something that was "ours."   Then, I heard an interview with a pastor where he was asked about how he shepherds people he is tasked with ministering to. His response was, "How can I shepherd a people I don't know?  I can't know them unless I am among them."  And once again God took away my desire for having what everyone else seems to have that I don't and he made me satified in the plans he has (for know) for our family.  

Honestly, if I sit down with a paper and pencil and list the things I want in a home, this place actually hits a lot of them.  On my wish list would be: older home with character, mature trees in yard/neighborhood, close enough to university for students to come over, close to our church, a decent sized yard, access to trail system, and sidewalks so I can take kiddos for walks.  THIS PLACE HOLDS ALL OF THOSE THINGS!  Isn't God good?  And isn't it like him to give us our hearts desire but in a different way than we thought. Besides that, there are opportunities for picnics and bike rides on campus, interacting with students when we are in our yard, being close to the action during home football games and so many more benefits!

Now, there are still days when I feel the tug of not being satisfied....this house has put us through the wringer a few times.  Flooded basement, flea infestation, dead possum under the house, rewiring of entire home, kitchen remodel (intentional), broken heater have all been par for the course.  But I know that as long as the Lord wants us here I will strive to find the humor and blessing of living in our home.

 

 

Why I Am Blogging Again

Remember back in 2005...when everyone blogged and it was cool.  Yeah, me too.  I've never been on top trends so of course I'm not going to start blogging until it's not the thing anymore.  I have felt the call to start a blog about our life as a family in ministry.  

For anyone who is reading this and doesn't know us personally, my husband is a campus minister.  We live our lives to reach college students for the gospel's sake, point them toward Christ connect them with the local church.  We love college ministry because we see it as a very formative time when students are making decisions that can affect the rest of their lives.  Students are making decisions about careers, marriage, friends and finances all during this 4 to 5 year period (or longer).  What a time to get to be involved in?!

I have felt the need and desire to blog about our life since last fall, but dismissed it as a silly notion.  Our life is crazy and at the time I found out I was pregnant with our third child.  Not a time when I felt like I had extra energy to expend.  Plus, does anyone read these things anymore?  Am I going to come off as pretentious?  Who really cares what I have to say? But time and time again for the last year, God has confirmed that this is what he wants through His word written and spoken and even really random things like the movie "Mom's Night Out." 

I have let the fear of rejection and criticism hold me back for far too long...so here it goes.  Here is my humble offering of what the Lord is doing in the lives of our family and our students.  Enjoy the window into our world!