Fighting Mommy Fatigue

Have you ever just had one of those days where you wake up and already feel depleted as a mom?  I have...especially in the last two weeks.  There just seem to be days as a mom (especially if you have small children)  where you wake up knowing you are already spent and the day has just begun.  As I've had these days lately, I've been trying to find ways to fight this "mommy fatigue." Some of these ideas are my own, but most I've learned from other women in my life who are much wiser than me.

1.  Spend time with the Lord.
The best thing to do any day is to spend time with the Creator, but even more so on a tough day.  We believe the lie so much of the time as mothers that we must muscle through hard days in our own strength.  Isaiah 40:29-31 has been a passage that I have clung to these last couple of weeks.

"He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.  Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

Did you see that....he can give us the strength though we have none.  He IS our strength. Why do we listen to the lies of the enemy and try to go it alone?  Spending time with the Lord can be especially challenging if you have very small children that need lots of attention.  But I believe that the Lord can take even the small bit of the word we digest and multiply it for his glory.  So on those hard days, prayer journal a short prayer or find a short psalm that speaks exactly to your need.  Pray and ask they Lord to be glorified in your life as you seek to be the best wife and mother possible and know he will answer.

2.  Fresh Air
When I had my first child, a friend told me that every day I needed to step outside once and breath in the air outside my front door, even if it was just for a few minutes.  As a stay at home mom sometimes I get so caught up in the world inside my house that I fail to remember that there is a bigger world out there.  My first baby was difficult to soothe in the early months and a terrible sleeper.  There would be times where I had to lay her down in her crib and walk out the front door for just a few minutes to regain my sanity and then, go back into battle. Something about that brief break seemed to help me feel slightly refreshed and able to go on.

3.  Get out of the house.
This is kind of in the same vein as the last tip.  I can get so caught up with everything that there is to do at home...and frankly, sometimes staying put is easier than setting foot outside the house with three that are four and under.  But every once in awhile, the change of pace really helps my stamina as a mama.  You don't even have to get out of the car....just get out of the house!  Sonic and starbucks drink runs seem simple, but can make a big difference on a day that is difficult.  Are the kids crazy?  Go for a walk on a trail or at a park to burn off some energy (maybe after you've already made that starbucks drink run!)

4.  Get Moving
For me personally, I am a much better mom and wife when I exercise.  I can always tell a difference in energy levels the days I get up and get a workout in.  It doesn't have to be anything crazy, but even just a good walk can help you blow off some steam of mommyhood stress.  Find something you like to do and get your blood pumping.

5. Fuel Your Body
My husband has done quite a bit of overseas traveling.  One thing he always advises our students to do is to stay hydrated as they travel and after they return.  Jet lag can be brutal, but dehydration can make it even more miserable.  As a mama, there are seasons we run on little sleep and low energy.  On those days, make sure you drink plenty of water to stay hydrated so as not to make the fatigue you have even worse.  Also, make sure you are eating a healthy diet....lots of whole foods.  Make sure your diet isn't just the crusts of your children's pb and j's and a handful of goldfish.  Take care of yourself so you can take care of your family.

6. Phone a Friend
Do you have friend's that you can text or call on a hard day?  I am very thankful that the Lord has given me some of these friendships as I have become a mom.  I have a handful of friends that I can text and request prayer from anytime I need to.  I also have friends who are willing to come over or meet up so our kids can play and I can get a break.  Don't have those kind of friends yet????  Then, start by being one of those friends.  As believers, we are called to bear one another's burdens and share in one another's joy.  My mother in law says you have to teach people how to treat you.  Maybe sometimes that means making the first move and taking your friend's children on a hard day for her and hopefully she in turn will learn to do the same for you.

7. Read something encouraging
A pastor's wife gave me this idea.  She said take 15 minutes everyday to read something encouraging.  I try to find something that helps renew my perspective on the days that I can't see past all of the discipline I've had to hand out that day.  Find some good books on being a godly wife and mother, something that will give you renewed vigor as you seek to glorify the Lord in raising godly children.

8.  Write yourself encouraging reminders
When I did my student teaching, I had an excellent mentor teacher who gave lots of feedback.  One way she gave feedback was to write little stick it notes while I taught a lesson and leave the notes on my desk for me to look over later.  I have index cards stuck all over the cabinets near my kitchen sink...since I'm there a lot.  Most are verses I am trying to apply to my life (Lots of verses about kindness and patience right now!), but I also have quotes from wise wives and mothers that I want to try to emulate.  It's funny how you glance at those little index cards and the words begin to seep into your mind and prayerfully work themselves out in your life.

This is by no means an extensive list, but one I hope will help you on the days that seem impossibly long and tiring.  Keep up the good fight,  mama's out there....you are doing kingdom work that has ETERNAL VALUE!

Empty

Did anyone else's week last week seem like everyday was a Monday (in the worst way)? Mine did.  It was one of those weeks that leaves you feeling like you just got spit out of a tornado and you're not quite sure where you landed.  It was a week filled with tears, tantrums, and trials. (and alliterations apparently).  

It's not uncommon for us to have stretches of days where we (or just Cole ) has something going.  We actually have 17 day stretch in the next couple of weeks where we (ok, mostly Cole) has an activity, out of town trip, or event planned every day.  They are always challenging, but mostly sanctifying for everyone involved.  

The worst day actually came on Tuesday ( I know, seriously....I couldn't even make it through Tuesday before losing it).  Monday had been long because Cole was out of town.  Tuesday was the first day of Wee Care at our church.  I was super excited for the older kiddos to get some fun time and for me to get a bit of a break; my kiddos, however, missed the excitement train and got on the meltdown wagon instead.  Even my Jitterbug, who is my happy, social girl, had a complete meltdown.  I wish I could say it was one glittering, sorrowful tear, but no...it was a cling to mama, pleading, screaming kind of meltdown.  It was one of those moments where it really stinks to be the adult.  You really just want to pick up your kid and say, "Never mind, this is hard, so we aren't going to do this," but we would just have to go through the same thing again on Thursday if we didn't fight the battle now.  So I bit my lip, pried her off of me, told her I would see her after lunch, and did what any other self-respecting mama would do.....waited until I got into the hallway and melted into a puddle while two of my close friends held me and let me cry.  Talk about humbling...and somewhat humilating, if I'm really honest. Does anyone else hate to cry in front of others, or is it just me?  I just felt like I was showing the world I couldn't keep it together.  

Tuesday afternoon came with a battle of wills during naptime.  And in my mind I knew Tuesday night was coming...with at least 10 college students coming into our home to have a small group.  I already felt so incredibly undone.  How in the world can I keep it together while we try to minister to these students?  I'm supposed to hold it together, right?!  Tuesday night came with students in our home who had great discussion on community and stayed afterward to hang out.  But while the discussion was going on, I was in the back room dealing with a two year old and a four year old who had forgotten that they liked each other and were screaming at each other instead.  I came away Tuesday evening feeling so defeated.  My kids had put their worst behavior on display, I hadn't gotten to host the way I wanted, and I had cried in public.  I had let the world know I didn't have it all together.

The rest of the week went similarly.  Being poured out again and again and feeling like their was nothing left to give and that what you did have to give wasn't good enough.  Struggles with my looks, doubts of my parenting skills, feeling trapped by the duties of motherhood...I was drowning in doubt and hopelessness.  And I feel like the Lord let me stay there for awhile, and it wasn't until today that I realized why.  I NEEDED to be allowed to run on empty for awhile.  Why? Because it reminded me of my need of Jesus.  If I forget to eat breakfast in the morning, my body eventually starts sending me signals that I am in need of energy...tiredness, dizziness, shakiness, headaches...all of which point to fatigue.  It reminds me I need to fuel my body with something to keep me going.  It's the same way in our spiritual walk....the Lord will let us run ourselves into the ground sometimes because it points to our humanness and our inability to minister outside of His power.  And in our weakness His power is shown.  

The funny thing is that THIS week, I've had so much encouragement and reassurance in ministry.  I actually got a conversation in with our small group.  Someone complimented and admired my parenting that they witnessed on a day when i felt more like Miss Hannigan and less like Mary Poppins.  God is so good to not only use us in spite of our weakness but also our weaknesses themselves to point others to Him.  Are you running on empty? Run to Him!  Let your weaknesses remind you and point others to Christ's surpassing power and worth! Let's be willing to be emptied of ourselves to be filled back up with Him!